Hello Friends and Family,

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Quilt Pox

Many of you may not know that my Mom has a serious illness — Quilt Pox. Fortunately, it is not fatal but it is contagious. In fact, one of my sisters contracted it also. The sewing room at my Mom's house has a "Quarantine Quilt Pox" sign on the door. Because of her illness, I decided to do a Google search and found the following information.

Symptoms: Continual complaint as to need for snuggling under a handmade quilt. Patient has blank expression, sometimes deaf to spouse and kids. Has no taste for bedspreads or electric blankets. Hangs out at Quilting Bees. Mumbles to self "Log Cabin", "Double Wedding Ring", "Ohio Rose"...

Treatment: Medication is useless, Disease is Not Fatal. Victim should attend as many Quilt shows and Quilt shops as possible.

Fabric Effect

A recent study has indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones, that actually hypnotizes women, and causes them to purchase ungodly amounts.

Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few of the breed of women known as "quilters".

When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter, i.e.: storing food), therefore, perpetuating their species, and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut up into little pieces and mixed with others.

When played backwards on a LP, the sounds are heard as chants "buy me, cut me, sew me"!

In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled in to their grip. (One must laugh, however, at the sight of women in a fabric store, with WWII Army gas masks and headphones!)

Studies also indicate that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effect that these fabrics have on the human woman population. They are called FABRIC STORE CLERKS.

Fortunately, for those of us in the family there is an actual side benefit to quilt pox. The patient gives family members actual quilts. Handmade, beautiful, warm and cuddly quilts. Some go on the bed — some are to be hung on the wall. This year for Christmas, my Mom has shown she is still inflicted with this terrible disease — as you can see in the following photos of a new quilt that just arrived in the mail.

Please take a careful look at the small squares of fabric on front (above left photo). Some of you who have known me for a long time may recognize patterns from my old (and now retired) aloha shirts. Is that incredible or what? And the backing is a wonderful rough surf pattern that takes me back to Hawaii.

Enough words. How about some more photos from my Mom-made quilt collection? Priceless.

Life is good.

B. David

P. S., All photos and text © B. David Cathell Photography, Inc. — www.bdavidcathell.com